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It all relationships we know that we are not suppose to do any backbiting. In fact, backbiting is mentioned a lot in the Bible. Over and over again the Bible tells us to refrain from it and even shows examples of how backbiting causes big problems. Sadly, a lot of times we overlook the truths about backbiting and just do it anyway because I mean really what can it hurt right?
The meaning of backbiting is malicious talk about someone who is not present. This can be talking about your friends, fellow Church family, family members , kids and well anyone else that you come in contact with. Backbiting tarnishes a person’s character and it causes others to view them differently. It also causes a lot of hurts. It causes pain. It also causes judgments to be placed that really none of us have a right to do.
Since we know the effects of backbiting in other relationships. I wonder why it is that we still do it to our husband’s ? I mean we know that it could be hurtful to him if he knew what we were saying. Yet, for some reason when we get together with our girlfriends we deem it totally ok to throw caution to the wind and just really tear into our husbands.
Sadly, by doing so we are breaking our marriage vows every time that we do this backbiting against our husbands. Our vows said we would honor and obey. Honor… What is honoring about talking negatively about our husband? Nothing. Instead, it is shaming him to all your friends and more than likely to your friend’s spouse.
Does this mean that we can not seek guidance?
Not at all. There is a huge difference between seeking counsel and having a good old gossip session with our friends. Now this can easily turn into a backbiting session so you really must weigh out your words and truly seek wisdom and not gratification for your own selfish desire to be right.
Before turning to others it is always best to talk to your husband about concerns pertaining to your marriage.
Seek guidance for God’s Word
Pray about the situation at hand
Instead of seeking outward advice alone why not try to seek it together?
Backbiting in any relationship is serious business. It is extremely serious when you are doing it to your husband. After all, when we got married we swore to never cause our husband harm which is exactly what comes from backbiting.
Are you guilty of doing a bit of backbiting about your husband? Know that I am praying for you. What ways are you actively using to stop this practice in your life?
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
Very true.
Both my husband and I had failed first marriages. We came into this one with a few ironclad rules. One is that we will not say anything to someone else - not even my mom, my sister, my best friend - that we won’t say to each other. It has meant some riproaring fights, let me tell you, but they always get resolved. Talking trash about your spouse doesn’t do anyone any good. However, this also has to be paired with another rule - don’t say anything that you can’t take back. “Maybe I should just leave!” Yea, don’t ever say it. “I don’t love you” - no way, never, no matter if you’re thinking it (because you won’t be thinking it later).
Marriage is hard work. 🙂 Anyway, we’re 8 1/2 years in, four children.