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Dealing with regret and guilt when you lose someone close to you. During the grieving process, it is normal for a person to replay different scenarios in their mind. Things that you wish you had said or done differently will be in the forefront of your thoughts. Sometimes it is because you actually did something wrong and other times it is because you are allowing your thoughts convenience you that you were in the wrong.
In these moments it is important to ask ourselves have we really done something that we should seek forgiveness for? Have we wronged an individual in a manner that we need to correct by seeking forgiveness for?
If the Answer is Yes:
If the answer is yes and this person is still alive then we most certainly should seek out forgiveness from that person. However, if we feel we have wrong an individual who has passed we can’t simply just seek forgiveness. Not, because we don’t want to. These regrets are what can leave us feeling helpless and paralyzed because we feel as though we can’t rectify the error that we have caused. This is when we need to lay our sin at the feet of the Lord. We need to ask Him for the forgiveness. No, we will never hear that loved one say that we are forgiven but God will wash it away and from that is where we must receive our comfort.
If the Answer is No:
However, it is also completely normal to lose a loved one and simply feel guilty because their life has ended on this Earth while yours still continues. Yet, it is important to remember that in these moments you are dealing with regret. Though regret is also normal after a loss it is important to seek out someone to talk to about those feelings. Living with regrets is a powerful thing. It can cause you to feel as though you are guilty of something even though you really had no control of the situation at all. So it is very important to deal with those feelings quickly.
The Fact Remains:
You are loved by a forgiving God. One who wants to help you and to heal your broken heart. However, we must be willing to truly look within ourselves and discover which path it is that we need to take toward healing.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?
Since my mother died, there are so many things I feel guilty about. All of the times she asked me to do something for her and I put it off. All of the times I rolled my eyes when she couldn’t do things for herself. She lived in our home for two years after a major heart attack. I took care of her up until the last two weeks, when I finally called in hospice to help. That was the best thing I ever did.
I think it is natural to replay moments in our heads and think about all the ways we wished that we had done things differently. The fact remains I am sure your mom knew that you loved and adored her. In fact, in today’s society, you did more for her than most would have. Praying that you find comfort and peace.