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Marriage is a funny thing. I mean when we get married we agree to care for this man and cherish him always. If you are like me then you thought that meant simply making sure he was fed, his home was clean and that he knew how much you cared about him. Of course, you also took time to pray for him, listen to all his concerns and along the way you became his biggest cheerleader. We assume that because we do all these things that our husbands will automatically know how much we love them. Sadly, this is wrong because as much as our husbands love us as wives they long to have their girlfriends.
I was reminded of this fact over the weekend when my husband surprised me with a weekend getaway and I was also reminded that I had, in fact, lost my “girlfriend’ factor. I had become so concerned with being the best mom and wife that I could be that I was actually suffocating the fun-loving girlfriend side that my husband fell in love with. I was so afraid that my girlfriend traits were just not suitable for marriage that I was beginning to stress my own self out. It wasn’t until my husband decided to surprise me with a weekend getaway that I realized it was a huge problem.
The moment the trip was mentioned I instantly begin to think about fact that I was going to be alone with my husband for 2 days. What in the world were we supposed to do? How was I going to actually handle getting a chance to slow down? More importantly, was my husband actually going to enjoy being with me for 2 days? I began to grow nervous and sadly a bit scared. While packing I began to realize that not only had I let myself emotionally become a tad confused but that I owned hardly anything that would actually be considered date-worthy. I actually had to have a dear friend walk me through the packing process! This ball of emotions and nervousness got me to thinking. When is it that I had actually stopped worrying about being pleasing to my husband? More specifically when had I stopped being his girlfriend?
While we were away on our trip I focused on being more of his girlfriend and less of his overseer. It was when I actually allowed this part of myself to show that we really connected. The girlfriend feeling was something that I had missed myself. The outpouring of conversation and affection proved that my husband had also missed.
Yes, when we get married our roles change but, they do not change as much as we make them change. The fact is that yes the moment we got married we inherited the job of caring for our man’s needs. However, we should continue to be his girlfriend.
We should desire to please him.
We should desire to impress him.
We should seek ways to attract him.
We should continue the longing to be sought after by him.
The fact that we are married should never cause us to simply stop being his girlfriend. They need this side of us just as much as we need to express that side of ourselves.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?