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It is easy when things are going great in our marriages to scream sweet words of praise. These moments after all are great. Sadly we forget these words when we are faced with moments that are not so great. Instead we revert to some not so great things like name calling, screaming and sometimes even deciding to give up on our marriage.
We live in a world were it seems to be ok to give up on each other. After all standing in the check-out line at the grocery store we are slapped with the reality that this is the way we are suppose to be right? I mean these actors are who we decide to live through. There is a problem with this idea however, you see, this whole giving up on your marriage thing is ungodly.
It is not how our marriages were intended to be.
It is not how God designed them to be.
Yet, we see it way to often. It happens in our neighborhoods, it happens in our family and it even happens in our local church. People seem to have forgotten the till death do you part section of their marriage vows. We have decided that marriage is suppose to be happy. Marriage is suppose to be full of romance. Marriage is suppose to go our way.
We have lost sight of the fact that ever marriage includes two guilty parties. It isn’t until you take the “give up” option of the table that true work in your marriage begins. You see when you can no longer say that you give up you then will strive to make things better.
So what do we do to fix the situations in our marriage that make us want to give up?
Often times I hear others say “I have tried everything but they just won’t do what I want”‘ There is one big problem with this. Marriage is not always about what “I” want. Instead it is suppose to be about what you both want. A lot of times this causes a problem because we can’t help but to only see things with a one track mind. We don’t want to know what our husband is thinking because well we already know we are right. Yet, if we would actively listen to what they are saying we would be able to truly understand what is going on. Chances are they know what you are saying is making sense yet they are having concerns of their own. In fact more than likely they are feeling just as frustrated as you are about the situation.
I often tell my children that you can not control others actions but, you can control your own. The same holds true in marriage. When you are actively seeking change over a situation we need to focus more about what we are doing in the situation not what our husband is doing. Pray for change in your husband’s heart. Pray for understanding and seek guidance from God. These things really do work more so than you think they do.
Strive to be the one who fights for your marriage not against it. The harder you fight for your marriage the harder it will be for you to give up. Focus on those qualities that caused you to fall in love with your husband in the first place. I still happen to have all the love letters that my husband has ever written me (even the ones from when we were dating). These letters have gotten me through many hard times. They remind me of the great times and why my marriage is worth fighting for. Sure we are both different than from when we started on this journey together yet we still long to be pleasing to each other just as the day we started this journey together.
When times get tough remember the One who can fix it. God can change our hearts. He can cause change in any situation. But, we must allow Him to do so. We must be willing to let Him in.
Are you at the point where you want to give up? I urge you to pray.. I beg you to hold on. You never know what blessing God has in store after this storm.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
This site does not condone abuse in any sort of way. Abuse can be physical, emotional and/or sexual. If you are in a relationship that is abusive we urge you to seek professional help.I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?