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Marriage is a complexed relationship. One that we have all heard takes lots of work and yet for some reason when we start our lives with our husband we always seem to think that our relationship is different. Or at least that is how I felt when my husband and I began our journey together. We never think that we will one day be seeking renewal in our marriages.
Fast forward 16 years and I really see what others were talking about. It seems as though the faster life begins to move the harder it is to connect with the very one that you vowed to always stay connected to. You both become busy with the children, your jobs, your church, other friendships and other interests. If you aren’t careful one day you sit down on the couch beside your husband only to discover that is the first time in a month when both of you didn’t have something going on at the same exact time. The problem with this is that in this busy season you begin to discover that the joy of marriage you once felt has slowly begun to slip away. This is where renewal has to begin.
Marriages can easily fall into a rut if we allow them to. Mainly this happens when we allow life to sweep us away. Yet, it is also a pretty easy thing to avoid but it takes some work on our parts. Ideally, our husband’s would join us in striving to make the changes that need to be made to help renew our marriage joy but not always do the sense something just isn’t right.
Renewal of Marriage Joy:
- Remember all the little things that made you fall in love, to begin with: Time plays tricks on us. We forget sometimes all those little things that caused us to fall in love with our man. Be it his stubborn nature that drives us nuts now, is ability to fix everything with little effort that drives you insane after you have been trying to fix something for hours or maybe it was his ability to face a crisis with a calm nature when you are now standing beside him struggling to simply keep it together. We need to remember these things that we now may view as a flaw are actually things that we found amazing. These little things were the things that made us decide that he was the man for us. That man with charm, sweet words, and great intentions is still in there even if sometimes we have to really look to see it. After all, time changes us all a little.
- Work toward making yourself more available: My husband, bless the poor man, actually has to remind me when I have been too busy to actually sit still for more than 5 mins. The fact is that if it were left up to me I could fill my day full of enough stuff to keep 4 of me busy all day long with no breaks. My husband is great in noticing this about me and actually forcing me to come up from my busy lifestyle by making special dates. In order to renew one’s marriage, we have to make sure that we are making ourselves available. Yes, I get that we are busy but are we so busy that we can not simply take a couple hours to surprise our man!
- Strive to surprise: Planning a surprise takes work. It requires us to make an intentional effort to pull off an ultimate goal. We are were dating surprising our men used to be somewhat easy. We listened for clues on things they may enjoy, we noticed outfits they liked us in and we even paid attention to the reactions they had to different activities. Being married shouldn’t change this. Dare to surprise your man. It can be as simple as making his favorite meal, sending him a surprise text or even as crazy as planning a night out focused on all his favorite things. In keeping the mindset of striving to surprise, you are putting yourself out there to discover new things and are putting them into play. Therefore causing him to want to do the same as well.
- Seek guidance from God’s Word: Many times when we discover that we are loosing the magic in our marriage we forget that God is supposed to be the center of our marriage. We seek out advice from our peers, from books, and from other bloggers. And though these may be great sources they should not be our only source. The game changer for our marriage was when I stopped focusing on what peers told me to do in my marriage and I instead focused on what God says that I should be doing in my marriage.
Renewing the joy in our marriages isn’t an easy task. It isn’t something that one day we wake up, do some nice things and bam it is all fixed. Instead, it is a process that takes time and energy. Sometimes you feel as though you are the only one working toward strengthing your marriage but don’t give up. Stay strong and focus on your goal. One day you will wake up and discover that your marriage is right at the place you always knew it could be.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?