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Abuse comes in many forms and can be inflicted by all kind of people. Physical abuse is one when to hear often about because it is the most visible. Sexual abuse is addressed often when it’s victim finally gains the courage to speak out or when an unplanned pregnancy occurs. Mental abuse, however, is one that we don’t discuss often because it is unseen and often times its victims remain silent because they are uncertain if those words that are thrown at them are actual truths or if the person is simply doing so because they are trying to decompress some sort of built up tensions. The fact remains mental abuse is real and it is life changing for the victim. It is something that the victim never forgets and it is something that even though the victim learns to move on a number of things can become paralyzing to them just like any other kind of abuse. I should know I have lived through all three kinds.
Abused women are some of the strongest women you will ever meet. They have had to learn to survive not because others were lifting them up but because they themselves have learned to realize their own personal worth. Worth that maybe they had to discover for themselves. So when loving someone who has suffered with mental abuse here are some things you should know.
Things to Know When You’re Married to Someone Who is Mentally Scared
- Choose your words wisely: Disagreements happen in all marriages. Yes, you should address and talk these out, however, be careful that you are not speaking to them out of anger. This causes them more pain and often causes them to shut down way before you have made your point.
- Be sure to encourage them way more than you criticize them: They need t0 be reminded that they are loved by words and actions. Make it a habit to say something nice and sweet daily. That way it is sure to outnumber the criticism even if it is constructive.
- Just because you do not mean your complaint to be taken to heart doesn’t mean they won’t: Mentally abused people are just like any other abused person they still long to be pleasing and loved by others. When you complain it will be taken wrong and even more so if the complaint is something that you have entrusted to their care. It feels like a personal attack even when it isn’t.
- Even though they love you to pieces sometimes it is hard for them to express to you what they are feeling: Sometimes they don’t need you to try to fix their mood. They just need you to listen and hold them as they cry it out. It is not an attack on you.
- They strive daily to please you even if you don’t notice it: We know that we are hard to love and chances are you feel like we cause you to walk on egg shells. We want you to know that we love you and to constantly to remind you that we are worth it.
Attempting to love someone who has been mentally scared can be so hard. Even more so if you have no clue what you are dealing with. In the end, however, the effort is well worth it.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
