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I stared at the screen of the computer for what seemed like hours. I had deadlines to meet, jobs to complete around the house and articles to get posted for my readers. Yet, tasks that usually take minutes were taking every bit of energy that my body had in me and still I was getting nowhere. Which made me angry at myself.
I would say that this is the only day this happened or that crying at the drop of a hat wasn’t becoming a new normal but it isn’t/ The thing about grief is that it takes time and it doesn’t understand deadlines. Grief is there to remind us that we loved and we loved well. It is there to help us release the hurt that we feel the loss of a loved one who meant the world to us.
Once we come to terms with the fact that grief is normal and a reminder that is present because we truly loved the person it is important for our own sanity to do a few things.
5 Things To Do While Healing From Grief:
- We need to remember to focus on one thing at a time. For me, I need to write a list of the things that I need to get done during the day. I focus on item number one and then proceed to item number two. Sometimes I complete the list and well other times not so much but hey I am a work in progress. I’m getting there and I am certain you will as well.
- No big decisions allowed!! Naturally, I am wired to be a yes person. It is a normal problem for me. That is why this reminder has been important for me. Honestly, big decisions right now would cause a major meltdown of this I am certain. Not to mention a yes now could cause someone who is grieving could cause regret later. So instead I am making light decisions and I am making sure to seek counsel on all other decisions that need to be made. Poor Misty, Rosilind, my husband, and my mom, y’all should pray for them as they continue to help this hot mess work toward getting better.
- Allow yourself to feel. This is another hard one for me. I learned early on in life from my father that only the weak show emotion. Though this is not true it is still a hard habit for me to break. Crying or showing anything but a smile is hard for me. Yet, bottling up emotions does more harm than good in the end. It’s OK to cry, it’s OK to laugh and it is OK to feel like you are riding an emotional roller coaster. Simply roll with it and allow yourself grace.
- Cling to God. Sometimes in the middle of grieving, we chose to move away from God. We become angry with God because we miss that person so much and our minds are seeking to know why this could happen. Yet, God is the only one who can wash healing powers over our broken hearts. The only one who in time can turn this pain into a memorial and a lesson.
- Seek out others. God gave me my support system. Together we are three broken best friends who are working together to achieve healing. For this, I am thankful because God knew there would be no way I could face this alone. The fact is we have to talk to others who are on the journey of healing. We aren’t alone in fact there are millions of people who understand at this very moment what you are feeling. Seek out a group if you need to.
Grief happens because we have chosen to love. More so we have chosen to love deeply. Recovery from that loss takes time and it requires that you give yourself grace as you work through it. I have been told that it actually does get easier.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
This post is part of a book club study that I am going with my best friends Rosilind and Misty.The book is called “Grieving with Hope” written by Samuel J IV and Kathy Leonard. Each week we will be discussing each chapter on our sites and share what we are walking away with from that week’s reading. We would love it if you would join us on this journey.