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Recently I was starting to see lots of signs of a marriage rut. A rut that was leaving me totally blue. You see my husband is a popular man in this house. The kids all beg to spend time with him and often his mom has things that she needs to have done by him as well. This often leads to little to no time for me. Not that we don’t both try. But, as we have noticed by the times the kids go to bed and all the things around the house are completed the only energy we have left is to watch a television show at the end of the night (Providing we are both done at the same time). This rut was leaving me feeling a bit neglected. Not that I still didn’t feel loved because I know without a shadow of doubt that I am still right up there on his favorite people list. While dealing with this rut I was left reminiscing about our life before kids. The dating days when we would go watch movies together, when love notes would just pour in and when sweet words of affirmation where spoken. There was no worry of a rut peeking its ugly head in then. Everything was new and different. We were in the learning stage of our relationship. The need to speak what we felt seem to be a constant. It was in this period of our life together that I learned that my husband was a romantic and had a heart of gold underneath his hard exterior. Then life with children poked its head into our life. Little by little we grew comfortable in not speaking the way we felt about each other because we just assumed the other one would know. Sweet gestures seemed to be happening less and less. One money is way to tight to spend it on romantic gestures and we both seemed to find that time was just not our friend in this department. Not that the occasional gesture or word was not spoken. They just seemed to be coming few and few.
While in this rut something happened. While my husband and I were out, alone, running an errand we were locked out of our van.It was in that moment we sprang into action. You see were are one of those rare people who do not own cell phones. So this meant that we had to walk to a place who sold items we needed to get into our van and then we had to walk back. Again we were not really speaking we were on a mission. We returned back to the van fixed the problem and then we were on our way.
It was on the drive back home I could not stop smiling. Yes, we have grown totally comfortable with each other. Yes, sweet gestures are becoming far and few in between. But, we are a find tune machine. We know each others every move and that brings me comfort. Yes, our rut is bringing me comfort. You see, we know that we have each others back. We know that we both love each other to the moon and back. We know that we are just not in the season we once were in the beginning. Yet, the season we are in now brings me comfort and peace… More importantly it brings me peace.
Often times when we get in these ruts we make a fatal mistake. We refer back to our past. We weep over the days that we used to have. We seem to miss exactly what we have now. Looking back yes there was tons of romance. But, there was lots of heartache. There was a greater lack of communication then we have now because we didn’t feel comfortable being who we truly were. We didn’t work completely together as we do now. Instead we worried more about ourselves which lead to the need for those grand efforts. It I had to choose between our rut and what we once had. I do believe I will keep my rut.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?