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Boundaries. They are a part of everyday life. We set boundaries on what we allow in our homes. Boundaries are set early on when we decide what we are and are not going to allow our children to do. But do we have boundaries set in our marriages. In order to have a healthy and successful marriage we must have boundaries set in stone. After all a marriage is just suppose to contain 3 intricate parts you, your husband and God.
When we share private moments with others who are outside our marriage we live our marriage open for discussion and sometimes even judgement. It is hard to remember that sometimes when others are discussing their private details so openly not to join in however it is very important not to do so. I have to watch myself constantly. You see when I write these marriage posts I have to remind myself that certain things that are in my marriage are just for my husband and myself to know. Because we are a team.
Part of the beauty that the Proverbs 31 woman possessed is that she would never cause her husband any harm. A lack of boundaries in a marriage can do just that! Our husbands share some of their deepest secrets and concerns with us. Things that if shared may cast a dark light on them if others really wanted to be picky. When we share openly to others about our marriage then we are allowing those who are seeking to destroy to gain all the ammunition that they need. There are those in this world who love to cause confusion and trouble. Setting boundaries for what you are going to discuss about your marriage and what you are not helps safe guard your marriage from just that. This is a lesson I had to learn early on in my marriage.
Now I am not saying that you should never share things about your marriage. I mean hello have you read half the content on this website. I am saying that you need to check with your husband on the things that he would prefer you not share. I can promise you nothing I share about my marriage has not first been discussed with my husband. Because I would never want to have him viewed in an unwelcoming light.
Some Things That Shouldn’t Be Shared:
- Bedroom Business: Your sexual relationship with your husband has no reason to ever be discussed with others unless there is a medical concern and then it would be best to discuss those things with your doctor not the girls at the local coffee shop. Part of these is seriously just common sense. How would you like it if your husband discussed your bedroom business with his friends?
- Arguments: If we are completely honest we share our arguments with friend in the sheer hope that they will see things our way. Yet when we do this we are allowing others to view our husbands in an unflattering light.
- Things he requests not to be shared: These things are important to him and we need to respect that. No matter how silly it seems to be. I think I would fall over if my husband shared things about me that I requested him not to and trust me he has a lot of dirt on me.
Sometimes if you are running a ministry and especially a marriage one these boundary lines can get a bit blurry. Yet we should never share things that are going to make our husbands bury their heads when they walk out in public. First and foremost we are Help Meets to our husbands. It is time we make sure to set some hardcore boundaries.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?