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Fall is here in my neck of the woods. Not that I am complaining mind you. As a matter of fact I love all the changes that are taking place. I mean there are cooler nights, beautiful colors replacing green leave and well there just seems to be a slower pace that goes hand in hand with fall. Fall also reminds me of the changes that have taken place in my marriage. Yesterday being my wedding anniversary it gave me a lot to think about.
You see when my husband and I got married 14 years ago, we were young and clueless. Both of us were leading a less than desirable life. We were both under the impression that marriage was easy. After all the only thing you had to do was love each other. Serving God was the furthest thing from our mind. In fact we were more about serving ourselves. We had no clue that marriage took work and that it required more than just love. Within days of our wedding day we started an endless cycle of arguments. These turned into hurt feelings. It even caused us to strongly consider the possibility that we didn’t know each other as well as we thought we did. There were times that things that got so bad we were unsure if we even wanted to stick around to actually get to know each other any better.Four years into our marriage I changed the whole dynamics of our marriage. I choose to serve God. In doing so changes were made in me that caused me to not see the faults of my husband but the faults that were within me. As I grew closer and closer to God I realized more and more what it was that God seen in my husband. I was able to view him in a new and different light. I was no longer looking at him as a bitter and angry wife I was looking at am as a child of God. It was when that happened I started to notice changes happening to my husband as well. Soon after my husband also turned his life over to God. And just like the changes that occur in the seasons. Changes started happening in our marriage. And those changes just keep on coming.
Changes in a marriage should continue just like the changes in us should continue to happen as we grow closer to God. Our marriages evolve with the seasons of life we are present in as well. Currently my husband and I seem to be in the tag team stage. Somewhere along our journey we learned how to work together and not against each other. We learned that in order to lead our family the way God designed us to we needed to have Him in the center. We also learned that we needed to fall into the roles that God lays out for us in the Bible.
Something else I have learned is that change can occur when we as wives take the first steps. To many times I hear the excuses that we don’t have to fall into the roles as submissive wives when our husbands do not lead. This is totally false. Because when we ourselves change it promotes change in our husbands as well. We set the moods in our relationships more than we will truly ever know.
What kind of changes do you see happening in your marriage? If there is no change maybe it is time to ponder the reason why no changes within your relationship are occurring.
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?
My husband and I were married in 2000 and I was saved in 2003. When I stopped trying to be his Holy Spirit, not only did I change but he did as well. Now he loves Christ.
Thanks for sharing.
Yes, it was the same here. Once I worried about making changes within myself my husband then started to change <3
Thank you for sharing…. some we need to be reminded. 🙂
Thank you for stopping by <3
I like that last paragraph especially. As a young wife I read a book that suggested that if even 1/3 of the problems in our marriage were caused by our bad attitudes/behavior then by definition our marriages could be 30% better if we changed. It was a refreshing outlook. Of course the corollary is often also true; when we change ourselves for the better, God honors our relationships with positive changes!
You are so right. We can’t control anyone’s actions but our own!! Thank you so much for stopping by
I agree… as a young married couple, we had no idea what loving each other even really meant! Traveling a hard road together, growing, learning and learning to love God more and more… and then also learning to love each other more and more… what a blessing. 🙂
You are so right. There is certainly a learning curve that we must all go through. Yet, it is because of this journey we grow even closer together. Thank you for stopping by <3
Very well written! Thank you for sharing your story. About four years into my marriage my husband committed adultery. Through that God changed me and taught me more about myself. I came out of it changed and loving my husband more than before it happened. I know that sounds backwards but God……
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me!!
This posting could not have come at a better time. My husband and I are going through much the same thing. We’ve been together since my oldest was 9 and he is now 16. We got married in March 2011, and had our youngest that November. Since we’ve been married it’s been up and down. I sometimes feel that things may not work out but I would rather be miserable than get a divorce. I know that I am not the easiest person to get along with sometimes. I come from an upbringing of verbally defending myself all the time and still do this to this day. He has the worst sarcasm I’ve ever come across. I try so hard to not be so hurt by it and “lighten up” as he says, but often times I cannot and I lash out. This causes an argument and hurt feelings. I’m almost at my wits end.
I was randomly reading blogs from a blog hop and happened to see this from A Wise Woman Builds Her Home. I am divorced. It wasn’t my choice, but it was necessary. I am now with a Godly man - my first husband was not Christian and discouraged a Godly life - and the difference in my relationship with them is amazing! Living with God as a focus in our lives has been a HUGE difference in my new relationship: our commitment, our love and devotion towards each other, our giving and caring, our communication is like nothing I have experienced before! I was married for 18 years, but my new relationship of just 5 months is much more stable, much more committed with God at its center. I can’t wait to see how He works in us as time goes on!