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My husband and I are about to approach our 16 year dating anniversary. I remember when we first started dating we had endless phone calls, letters and one-on-one conversations. It was in this time that we learned each others likes and dislikes. We were in the beginning stage. We could not get enough of each other. We eagerly sought each other out every chance we got. Then we got married. Getting to know each other started to get pushed further and further onto the back burner as children started entering the family, job responsibilities started pouring into quiet times and endless other responsibilities started to pull us in different directions. It was never more evident how much we had put our relationship on the back burner then when my husband arranged for us to go on a weekend trip together.
This week as we dug into the Song of Solomon something instantly grabbed my attention. The conversations between Solomon and his wife were heart melting. As a matter of fact there were times this week that this woman had to stop reading just to compose herself. Not because I long to have those words spoken to me but because I began to see that I myself had not been giving my husband the same attention that Solomon’s wife was giving her husband.
I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him. The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. “Have you seen the one my heart loves?” Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go till I had brought him to my mother’s house, to the room of the one who conceived me. ~ Song of Solomon 3:2-4 NIV
My emails get flooded by woman who wonder how in the world can they get their husbands to pay attention to them. Right now there is one or two women reading who still wonder why should they put in the effort to seek out their husbands because they themselves can not figure out why they aren’t being praised the same way that they have been read this week. The fact is that we are in a lot of ways but not in the ways that we always want. For example, I love being spoken to in a sweet loving tone. I love sweet words of affirmation. My husband however speaks a different love language then I do. He is an act of service kinda man. So cooking dinner for me to him seems like it is worth far more then any words that could ever come out of his mouth. The more I thought about all that my husband does more me the more shamed I was at myself. It was then that I realized that I was not eagerly seeking my husband. Instead I was just going with the motions that come with life.
So how can we eagerly seek our husband?
In order to begin to seek out our husbands we need to remind ourselves that we are the ones that our husbands have chosen to spend the rest of their lives with. They love us. They find us attractive even when we are not feeling very attractive. Out of all the women in the world they are all ours.
Let him know how he makes you feel special. My husband is a supporter. One of the greatest thing he does for me is to simply listen to me when I am feeling worn down and broken. It is something that I have admired him for since we began our journey together. I have cried on that man’s shoulder more times then I can count and yet he will silently sit there. Anyone who knows my husband knows that he is not a social man and this is something that he does only for me because he cherishes me.
Dare to take a chance simply to please him. Too many times I allow myself to become self-conscious. It effects my marriage in a lot of ways. There are times that my husband wants to do things and I have to quickly shut them down because I may look foolish or what will others think? But deep down who cares? We are not trying to please anyone but God and our husbands.
Trust him the same way you did when you said “I do”. When my husband and I were dating I trusted him with all my heart. I still trust him mind you but sometimes I do find myself questioning some of his decisions. The bottom line is he is a better man today then when I married him almost 15 years ago and he has certainly grown since 16 years ago when we began dating.
I would love to know how do you intend to eagerly seek your husband?
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I am blogging through the Bible with some great friends. Each week we share our thoughts on passages that we are reading together through the week. It is amazing to me just how God is laying different things on each of our hearts. You do not have to be a blogger to join in. In fact the main goal of Good Morning Girls is to encourage women of God to dedicate a little of their time each morning to seeking wisdom from God’s Word. To join us simply click on the image below and it will take you directly to Good Morning Girls where you will find our reading plan, free study materials and wonderful words of inspiration.