This post may contain Affiliate links. Click here to view our full disclosure.
It is easy to be taken by surprise in the heat of the moment. Sometimes it comes without warning . Sometimes we seem to catch the warning signs that they flare-up is about to take place. Most of the time though we are never really prepared.
Yes I am talking about heated discussions in your marriage. Those conversations we don’t mean to happen but seem to happen anyway when both parties have had enough. We all fall short in those moments (yes, even me). We all start spouting off things that at the time seem to be a good idea and yet when all is said and done we know that those things would have been better left unsaid. It is easy to do. After all, our husbands know how to push all the right buttons and we know how to push all his right buttons as well.
These “heated discussions” leave us tired, drained, annoyed, hurt and very much so frustrated. Sometimes we even find it easier to start trying to play the victim. After all, surely they should see how hard we work and how little we ask for in return. The problem with this is often times we don’t notice all the little things they actually do as well. So once both of you start defending the victim card that has been played things can get even more heated.
In These Heated Moments, We Need To Stop!!!
Stop and think about what is coming out of our mouths: Is the things that we are about to say truthful, hurtful and are they going to truly help the situation at hand. A lot of times we need to check our tone as well. When we are in the heat of the moment a lot of times we start spouting off all kinds of things without thinking about how it is going to make our husband feel. At that moment, we are in defensive mode and well nothing good seems to come from that.
Stop and ponder what we are truly saying: Are we presenting our thoughts in a clear and non- judgmental way. Again our tone plays a huge part in this and so does our body language. Yes, it is important to be heard. Yes, we need to let our husbands know what we are feeling. But, we need to make sure that our words, tone and body language are on the same cord. Nothing good comes from having those three things all mixed up and all over the place. You may not mean to sound harsh but if your body language is screaming it then that is how it is going to be taken.
Stop and pray for guidance and the right words to speak wisdom: Trust the Holy Spirit to lead you in the right direction. However, also watch out for those negative things that will be popping in your head. Those are not from God. God wants us to speak from love and wisdom at all times. Not out of anger.
Stop and realize what the real problem is: In the middle of those heated discussions 9 times out of 10 there is another problem at play. A larger problem that what as been brought to the table. We need to seek out that problem instead of focusing on all the little problems. Otherwise we will just keep putting out fires until we are ready to fall over.
Stop and forgive your husband: Things are said in these heated moments that can’t be unheard but we can forgive. Most of the time words are spoken out of anger and they really aren’t meant. Yet, once they exit your lips you can’t take them back. All you can do is to ask for forgiveness and also give forgiveness. Extend the same grace to your husband that you would like to have extended to you.
Instead strive to control them!!
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?