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My name is Bridget and I am a mother to a highly emotional child. I would be lying if I didn’t say that it is by hard one of the most draining things I have ever dealt with as a parent. Far more draining than our child who is ADHD. I have discovered the reason why it is so draining is because it is hard for me as a parent to understand all the time what it is that said child needs from me. Often times I feel as though I am alone on the journey because well really parents decide to actually never discuss it.
The further I go on this journey the more I am realizing that our child actually plays on my own personal mood. Not that they mean to but because they see me as their constant mood regulator. Which means if I become annoyed or agitated that the more likely they are going to feel the same. This means that as their mood regulator I must keep my own personal emotions in check. No, I don’t have to walk around like some kinda zombie but it does mean that I have to make sure that my children need to see me work through my own emotional struggles.
I am also learning that when my child feels as though something is life changing that it does, in fact, feel life altering to them. Trying to diffuse the situation by calling out the fact that they are being dramatic will often time lead to an even bigger emotional breakdown. This means that a lot of times I need to simply stop, encourage them to sit somewhere doing a quiet activity to allow them to calm down and then attempt to talk the situation through.
Punishing a child for the way they feel does not help the situation at all. Many will say that because the child is dealing with things in a highly unusual way to most children does not mean that they are bad and need to be punished. We seem to forget that children are little mini-adults who are looking to us to train them to function in the real world. Yes, sometimes not having control of our emotions can lead to trouble in adulthood. However, as a parent our goal is to assure the child that it is OK to feel annoyed, frustrated and even sad about a situation. The important thing, however, is to learn how to actually deal with said emotions in a more low-key way. This means that we have to be willing to take the time to explain and even walk through their emotions with them. Yes, it is very time-consuming but it is so worth it.
With all this redirecting and diffusing we often end the day feeling very tired and run down. That is why it is so important to make sure to take time for yourself to unload a bit. Read a good book before bed, take a bubble bath and simply remind yourself that this is just another season of motherhood. Also, don’t forget to surround yourself with a support system. For myself I have a few friends who I can go to and also I even go to my husband and do what I call a day dump. Whatever you need to do please make sure that you take time for yourself and to get yourself someone in your life that you can truly talk and vent to.
Please note that you are not the only one who is dealing with a highly emotional child. Also, remember that we will all get through this. One day at a time.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?