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Recently my husband and I were at a pass as to the way things needed to be in our home. Yes, I believe in letting him have complete control yet I found it to be an extremely hard pill to swallow. You see there are moments in our marriages when we have this battle. In fact, we all do. There are times when I feel God pulling me in one direction and I can see God pulling my husband in a different direction.
In those moments it is hard. In those moments I begin to second guess what I am actually doing. Am I going on the path that I need to go on or am I actually working toward my own selfish wants? It is in those moments that I have found I really must seek guidance. Guidance from outside parties that do not pick sides. Guidance from those who are willing to simply listen without giving input. Guidance from those who even if they do give input give so in an honest way that will shed light on the situation that I may not see. Now, this can be tricky because it is easy to lay out all your business and cause more harm to the situation than good. So it is very important if you are speaking with an adviser that this is someone that holds marriage from the same Biblical standpoint that you do.
Yet, even after these conversations I still felt things unchanged. My husband and I were at a standstill. Yes, we had both actively listen to each other’s side and yet still we were at a standstill. Again, as I am sure many of us have been in from time to time. It is all human nature. To say that our home was at a battle of wills would have been an understatement. Then it dawned on me I needed to pray for change in not only my heart but in his as well.
Years back we had been in a similar situation. It was in that moment I realized that I could not change my husband’s actions but that I could, in fact, control my own, with God’s help of course. Oh how quickly I had forgotten that. So as we were in the middle of this attack on our home I did something that I should have done in the very beginning…I prayed…I prayed for God to step in. To show me where I needed to change and how to proceed….
It was shortly after that I started to notice not only the way that I had been acting but I also noticed that I was seeing a different way of viewing the situation. No, my opinion had not changed but my approach was different. Once my approach changed something else started to change….My husband’s heart. Once again we were able to have an open conversation because our hearts were in a different place. Finally, we were both feeling lead to move in the same direction. The direction I had felt led to go in from the very beginning.
Often times we struggle with this. We can not understand why our husbands are just not willing to do what we want. It may not be that they don’t want us to be happy. It may in fact actually be because their hearts are just not in the same place that we are at the moment. That is, in fact, ok. It is easy to say that we should just let it go but the fact of the matter is the human nature aspect doesn’t allow us to let it go. However, we can control how we handle things. We can approach things in a Godly manner. But the only way that we can do this is by inviting God in and allowing Him to take charge of our hearts as well as our husband’s.
Dear wife who feels misunderstood and feels as though you are going in a different direction. Know that you are not alone. We have all been there at least once and if we are honest we would admit that it was more than that. Know that I am praying for you. I am praying for your heart and I am praying for a peace to overrule all the frustration that you are feeling at the moment. Know that I am rooting for your marriage.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?