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When we have conflict with others it is so easy to join the good old gossip train. Sure we go to our friends seeking advice at first. However, if we are truthful we would have to admit that nine times out of ten we have started the whole conversation in an attempt to seek validation. It’s human nature. We are built to seek validation. Yet we need to be mindful of how we go about seeking it.
Titus 2: 3-4 tells us:
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.
When in conversation we unfavorably speak of others then we are causing slander. Often times those topics that we discussed with friends will in turn be spread to other people and then next thing you know the good old gossip train is going full force. It damages that persons credibility among others and it damages yours as well. Many friendships end because of the good old gossip train and may hurt feelings are all that is left.
So what are we suppose to do when we have a problem with another person? Are we not suppose to seek counsel? This can be tricky. A lot of times grievances we have with someone are often apart of some sort of inter turmoil. We need to be prayerfully seeking if that is the case in our lives. Sometimes however these grievances we have with others is because we have a legitimate concern. In Matthew 18:15-16 Jesus said this:
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.
So here we see we aren’t technically suppose to involve anyone else besides the person involved at first. I am guilty of instead of involving that person first I go and talk to someone else to see if they agree with me first. Yes, I am in the wrong for doing so. Only when the person does not try to rectify the situation with you are you suppose to involve someone else. Now with that being said let me take a side note and add that these scriptures originally where for the Church but can be used in everday relationships. I need to say this because in Matthew 18:17 Jesus goes on to say:
If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Now if they are not part of our church body it really isn’t going to tell the leaders of our church or not. However it does say something that we should apply. It says t treat them as a pagan or tax collector. Now In those days people avoided pagans and tax collectors. They were not well like people so people tended to steer clear of that person. Shouldn’t we do the same intead of bashing them. It does sound much better that becoming part of the rumor mill.
I have told my children more than once we can’t control others actions but we can control our own. After all in the end we will all have to account for our own actions not the actions of others.
Now I am not saying that you can not ask for prayer. Prayer is always a good thing but when it could cause harm or cause you to become part of the gossip train it may be best to just say ” I need prayer for a private situation I am dealing with. Just pray for me to have added wisdom to deal with the situation properly.” The drop it before you say anything else. This keeps you free of gossip and yet you are able to see prayer.
The bottom line is that the Bible warns us about gossiping.The Bible tells us how to handle undesirable situations. It is however up to us to apply it. So will you join me in setting a new trend? Will you put the brakes on the good old gossip train?
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?