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There comes a time in every marriage that we discover that our husbands may have painted us in an unflattering light to others outside our marriage. We are of course allowed to be a little hurt by this. In fact it hurts a lot. But, if we were to be honest with ourselves we would have to admit that at one point or another we have done the same thing a time or two. Even realizing this about ourselves doesn’t make us hurt any less. In fact if we are not careful we can actually allow those unflattering things spoken to cause a wedge in our marriage which can lead to resentment.
Our first reactions when this happens often means we storm into attack mode. We want to know why he said such awful things to his friends. Next we may decide that we need to “get back” at him (cause you know that always helps a situation). Of course this could also mean that we have been given a get out of jail card and we ourselves can just say horrible things to our own friends. After all he did it first.
Instead of going off the deep end I would like to encourage us all to take a different approach. One that will actually help the situation and not make our home turn into a battle field. After all no good has ever come from confronting our husbands when we are mad, hurt and upset.
As with all things pertaining to our marriage we need to handle these words with care. We need to be mindful that these words may have been spoken in anger and possibly in annoyance. They still very well may hold some simple truths in them. They may also hold the key to possibly a bigger problem that is going on in your marriage.
We need to take time to evaluate what has been said to discover what is actually being said in those words that we ourselves can work on. Often times those unflattering words share a side of ourselves that we do not like. Those words can actually hold a key as to what we can change to make our husbands a bit happier and ultimately make our marriage even better.
Before speaking to our husbands (and I strongly encourage that we do) we need to stop and pray. If we simply just march in there and confront the situation head on we can make a small problem much bigger. They will feel attacked and well that can never end well.
Understand that just because he spoke a few unflattering words about you that it does not mean that he doesn’t love you. It also doesn’t mean that there are not a million and one things that he actually adores about you. Those words were more then likely spoken out of frustration. It also does not mean that we are failing as wives. It may mean that we have a few areas that we need to improve on. Honestly that is completely ok because we are never going to be perfect wives. The truth remains that we are never going to reach perfection in this
I would be lying if I said that these words didn’t cut like a knife. And though we may not be able to control what our husbands do we can however control what we do as a result of their actions.
- Don’t seek out to retaliate. Two wrongs are never going to make a right, no matter how much we want them to.
- Don’t allow the words to consume you to the point that they are all you think about.
- Don’t forget all the great things that your husband has done simply because of words. After all he is just human.
- Don’t allow these words to cause you to second guess yourself as a wife.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?