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Over the years I have heard, witnessed and even done a few huge no no’s that should not be done in marriage. Now mind you we can not control the things our husbands do, we can however control what we do. So I have compiled a small list of some what not to do’s for you to apply to your marriage.
What Not To Do:
- Comparing your spouse to others: Now you would think that this would be a given. And some may even be wondering why this could be wrong. Anytime we compare our husband to others and dare I even say an ex we ultimately are telling our husbands they are not good enough. This in turn is causing harm to his self esteem. Our past is our past, our husband however is our future. Other men are not our husbands there for they should never be used against our husbands. Just because Jill’s husband cooks doesn’t mean yours has to.
- Talking about private marriage business with others outside your marriage: We as women often try to seek counsel with others outside our marriage (I have been guilty of this one myself). The problem with this is all our issues inside our marriage have two sides. When we are discussing our side our husbands are not present to discuss his side. This is why marriage counseling includes both parties. Instead we are shedding a bad light on our husbands. We are putting him in a bad light. Also when you invite people into your relationship problems you are also inviting advice. This advice is given only knowing one side. It also is giving permission to that person to tell you unwanted input which is often not helpful and leads to problems in that friendship.
- Putting others above our husbands: It is so easy getting involved with different tasks that doesn’t involve our husbands. We have things that we are doing for Church, maybe you are ministering to other women, we have activities with the children and with others outside the family. These things are all great. However these things should come second to our husbands. His needs need to come first and for most. When we put things above him this begins to make him feel unimportant. I myself have to keep myself in check. As a blogger it is easy to get so involved doing about 100 different projects and if I am not careful my poor husband is out on the side lines. Yes he is proud of what I do. Yes he supports me. At the same time he needs to know that his needs are still number one. After all I am his wife and it is my job as his wife to be available to him when he needs me.
- Saying things out of anger: We have all been in a heated “discussion” with our husbands. Tempers start to rise. The next thing you know you are blurting out things to your husband that you know will hurt him because you are hurt. The problem is once those words are spoken they can not be taken back. I know as well as you do how much words can hurt. Weighing out the words takes self control. In the end however it is totally worth it.
The most important thing to remember is that we as wives need to start taking our husband’s feelings and reputation seriously. As wives we are in the position that we can build our husband up or we can tear them down. We need to choose to build them up.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?