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When our home church went through it’s big split we were heart broken. No, I think crushed was more like it. We couldn’t imagine ourselves attending any other church and yet we knew that this particular church was no longer an option. There was many a tear shed on that day and for weeks to come. We struggled to find a Church that felt like home. We compared each and every church to our old one. Though most churches were nice and we could have made do in just about any of them we wanted to be sure that the church that we picked for ourselves and our family would be the one that my husband and I could raise our children in and ultimately grow old together in. Now this is kind of a tall order when you think about it. Yet we learned a few things that make the search a bit easier.
- When you and your family decide that it is time to seek out a new Church home first and foremost you must be willing to let God lead. You will find plenty of great churches and you will more than likely find things you love and not love about each and every one of them. This is normal and it is also why you need to allow God to decide.
- Make sure to make sure you have given your heart time to heal. When you get to the point that you feel you must find a new church you are going to feel broken. Seeking out a new church home will most certainly cause you to look at each church through damaged eyes if you are not careful. Therefore just like in any healthy relationship you must take time to heal before you commit.
- Make sure to visit a church more then once. So many times we can visit a church one time and say nope not for me. Sadly we do not always know if they are simply having an “off” service. The preacher may be sick or something else could have happened. If you liked the church then by all means visit longer, get to know the people that make up the church and make sure to learn all that they fully believe. My husband calls this the “dating” stage and frankly I think that is the best way to describe it. After all when we married our husbands we dated them to get to know them better am I right?
- Attend a church open minded. Yes, you should definitely expect that they are teaching firm sound doctrine. But, you also need to know that no church worships the same way. Some shout and holler, some sit quietly, some use music and others prefer to let the sound of the congregation be their music. The fact remains that every person worships different the same as every church.
- Before you even start attending a new Church sit down as a whole family and decide what you feel is important. For example: 1. Do you need the church to have a good standing children’s ministry 2.What kind of environment are you seeking? 3.Do they have functions that will minister to individual needs as well as the whole family’s needs? 4. Do they have a church constitution and if so do they outline what you believe?
- Once you and your family find a church that you enjoy feel free to speak with the pastor. I actually strongly encourage that you invite them over to your home and as a family discuss your family’s needs.
Seeking a new home church is hard. Yet, as most of us know fellowship with fellow believers is such an important part of how we stay encouraged and on the right path. Therefore don’t give up. It can take months to find a home church that you will find to be a perfect fit.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
This post is part of an ongoing series that will continue until God stops laying it on my heart. To view more posts of this series or to find the reasoning behind this series simply click the image below to see it unfold from the very beginning.
We recently had to find a new church. I had been attending our home church for almost 20 years. Up to this point in my life, all of my major life events had happened in this church. I was married in this church, my husband was baptized in the church a week before we got married. Both of my children were dedicated in the church. My youngest son was baptized in the church. (He just turned 6 in November.) But when the pastor and others on a worship committee decided that my clapping was not worshipful, we really felt the Lord saying it was time to move on, and as we stepped back from the emotion of it, we could see the Lord pulling up away from the church over last year: my mentor passed away suddenly and unexpectedly; I was in charge of the middle school Sunday night group and the new youth director decided to combine the groups, so I lost my kids; my husband was an elder and due to work conditions, no longer able to participate in his duties. The last straw for me was sitting down with the pastor after letting them know we were leaving and having the pastor and head elder tell us that they didn’t think the Lord was telling us to leave, basically saying they new better what the Lord was telling us. It was sad and heart breaking for me. This was my family and they had basically stabbed me in the back, or that’s what it felt like. But we have found a new church that we joined last week. They are wonderful and we really feel this was where the Lord led us to attend. Thank you for your article.
When God calls us to move to a different place of worship it is heartbreaking for sure. Sometimes however it is so important to do so for our own spiritual growth. I am so sorry that happened to you and am very thankful that you found a new church home.
When we have be “church shopping” as we call it, we give each church 6 weeks (unless of course there is something really “off” about it). One visit is not quite enough and in 6 weeks you get a good feeling for how things go.
Yes a 6 week visiting period is a great way to get a feel for a Church!! I agree one visit is not enough to truly get a feel for a Church at all.
I really like that you and your husband referred to it as the “dating stage.” I agree, you definitely can’t glean the full picture of a church by just one visit! I know a few people who’ve had to find a new church for one reason or another, so this is a very helpful guide. Thanks for sharing!