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My husband is a very patient man when it comes to me. He goes right along with most crazy ideas that I have and often times really has no objects. Occasionally however he does complain when I give him leftovers. Now the leftovers that I am referring to may not be the ones that you are thinking of. My husband loves certain food related leftovers. No, the leftovers I am talking is the leftovers at the end of the day. More specifically it is the lack of time that I have at the end of the day.
At the end of the night my husband and I try to spend just a little time to ourselves after the kids go to bed. We don’t do anything of extreme extravagance. As a matter of fact we typically do something simply like watch a television program that is not cartoon related. A lot of nights though I can be caught dozing in and out on the couch. Not mind you, motherhood is a wonderful and oh so tiresome job. This sadly is not the reason that I was dozing off however.
You see has I have mentioned time and time again I am a workaholic. Which is actually a very good thing if I am applying this work ethic to things in my home. However, I also have a tendency to over extend myself outside my home. I sign up for several different assignments because well I have the need to please people. This often leads to one tired Bridget. It leads to a worn down Bridget. And it leads to a neglected husband.
Too often we put ourselves in these situations. We allow the world to see us as full of energy and full of life person that by the end of the day we have nothing left for those in our own homes. We want the world to see that we have everything all figured out and together that we refuse to say no to anything that comes our way. Instead we continue to pile things on to already full plates. We balance, switch things around and even push things off on to the back burner. And what is it that you think gets pushed to that back burner? Our marriages. (Not to mention trying to do this amazing balancing act causes us to become so exhausted and leads to us becoming burnt out.)
We take for granted that our husbands love us and that they understand why it is that they are receiving those leftovers. We justify ourselves because well shouldn’t they be happy that they are receiving those leftover? i mean do they not know how busy we are? Do they not know that our time is valuable? Do they not know that we are in high demand?
Of course they know all these things!! The problem is they need and long to be first to the line of our priorities. Our husbands want to feel as though they rank high enough on our list that we want to please them before we worry about pleasing anyone else. After all isn’t that how it was when you were dating? Of course it was!!
So how do we get everything done we need to and also avoid serving our husbands leftovers?
We must tend to our children’s needs. We don’t however have to keep them busy every single moment of the day. They are capable of playing without us. Now if your children are younger you may need to stay in the room with them but that doesn’t mean that you can not do other things while you are in the room with them.
We must clean our homes. Truth is we need a clean home but we do not have to have everything perfect. Sometimes we become to consumed with small details when we really need to just focus on the bigger picture. Husbands don’t care that the carpet has perfect lines in it (well at least mine doesn’t). Feel free to get your kids in on the chores. It will not hurt them I promise.
We must be active in our Church community. Now I agree that being involved with your Church is important. However we need to do so in moderation. We should not feel obligated to do every single thing in the Church. Instead we need to focus on those items that we feel extremely passionate about. This is one area that I really need to watch myself on because I can load myself up with a quickness with different Church functions and projects.
We must minster to others. Yes, it is important to reach others for Christ however it should not consume us so much that we end up putting our husband or our children on the back burner. One of the greatest ways to reach others is actually how we treat and serve our family!!!
At some point we must draw the line.
If we allow the above things to consume us we start to miss the picture of what God intended our marriages to be. We need to make sure that our husband is coming first and then the rest is coming second. If we are setting up lines and limitations we can do just that. However, it also means that we do not allow ourselves to be persuaded to do otherwise.
I would love for you to join me as I strive to make sure that my husband is not receiving just leftovers. Instead, my goal is that he gets first pickings of me before I open myself up to other obligations. Plus it would be nice to actually understand what happened at the end of our television shows 😉
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?