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When I started my Christian walk I was already a wife with a child. Yet, I had no clue what it was that I was suppose to do to begin to be a Godly woman. At times I am still at a loss when it comes to certain things (please note the reason the site has the word becoming in the title). Sometimes I am pretty sure I will never measure up to be half the woman that the Proverbs 31 woman is. Yet, I refuse to be discouraged.
You see I am not like most women. I am not very handy in the ways of DIY projects (Pinterest reminds me of this often). I am not a fan of shopping. My home is decent but by no means is it perfectly spotless. I have moments where I long for lazy days and it is well know that I take these lazy days because for the well being of myself and family I have to. Yep I am NOT a Proverbs 31 woman.
It would be easy to allow the Proverbs 31 woman scare us. In fact if we ponder to much on the short comings that we have in the ways of all the things that this woman has we could become right down depressed. Yet - there is something that has women that we need to remember.
We are so hard on ourselves as women. Courtney from Women Living Well said it best this week when she said that the Proverbs 31 woman did not do all the things listed in one day. It takes a life time to cultivate these habits and skills into our lives. Misty from Beautiful Ashes reminds us all that even though we haven’t achieved it yet that we still must continue to strive for it.
I may not be an amazing cook but I try. Frankly I have come a long way in this department. No longer are my pintos nothing but water and beans. My home may not be spotless but hey it is clean and the children are happy. No, at this moment my children are not singing my praises however one day they will understand everything that I do is only for their good. As for that pesky shopping task God provided me with a man who is perfectly fine with taking over that part for me as long as I provide him with a list.
You see the Proverbs 31 woman entails character traits we as Godly women need. But- in every home these traits look a bit different. Frankly because no woman is alike and no family is alike. And this is completely fine.
What matters most is that we continue to try and that we strive to be the woman that God longs for us to be. Even if sometimes this doesn’t look the exact same way as everyone else. When we do this and when we focus soley on God and not others, we will be more precious than rubies.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
****Did you know that I have done a detailed study on the Proverbs 31 woman verse by verse once before right here on Becoming A Godly Wife? To receive that and a link to all the freebies that are produced by this site be sure to subscribe before you leave.
Becoming a Godly wife said, “It would be easy to allow the Proverbs 31 woman scare us.”
Pr 31 was not written to scare or shame us. 2 Tim 1:7 states, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Therefore, if we feel scared or condemned when we read about the Pr 31 woman, that’s a good indication that we need to study and seek God for a richer, fuller understanding that’s not fear or shame based which is exactly what you have expressed here.
With that being said, it’s important that we recognize that many of the virtuous women listed in Bible had characteristics in common with the Pr 31 woman.
A wife of noble character who can find? (v. 10) Ruth was know as a woman of noble character (Ru 3:11). Like the Pr 31 woman, Lydia was a woman of noble character. The name “Lydia” means noble. She is clothed in fine linen and purple (v. 22b). Lydia sold purple cloth (Ac 16:14). Both Lydia and the Pr 31 woman were merchants.
She has been like a merchant’s ship that brings its merchandise from far away (v. 14). The Queen of Sheba literally brought Solomon large quantities of spices from far away. (1 Ki 10:6-10). Reward her
for her work— let her actions result in public praise (v. 31). The Queen of Sheba’s quest for wisdom brought her public praise. The Queen of Sheba is one of the few women Jesus publicly acknowledges and commends from the OT(Ma 12:42). She came from afar to hear the wisdom of a mere man. She was amazed at what she saw and heard. However, when Jesus who was greater than
Solomon came, many despised, rejected, slighted and slandered Him.
Doesn’t let her lamp go out… (v. 18b). In the parable, the wise virgins didn’t allow their lamps to go out. They were prepared when the Bridegroom came (Ma 25:1-12). Anna’s lamp didn’t go out at night because she worshiped God day and night by fasting and praying (Lu 2:36-38).
Helps the poor (v. 20). Dorcas helped the poor (Ac 9:36).
… speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (v. 26). The Wise Woman of Abel’s instruction saved her city from destruction (2 Sa 20:19-22). Pilate’s wife spoke with wisdom and faithful instruction (Ma 27:19). Huldah spoke with wisdom and sent the king a message from God
(2 Ki 22:14-20). Deborah wisely instructed the people of Israel (Ju chapter 4 & 5). Esther spoke wisely to the king and helped save the Jews from annihilation (Book of Esther). Priscilla helped her husband give Apollos wise and faithful instruction (Ac 18:26). Abigail spoke wisely to David. David recognized the wisdom in Abigail’s words, and he decided not to kill Abigail’s foolish husband and the other men in that household (1 Sam chapter 25).
She watches over the affairs of her household (v. 27a). Rahab (the harlot) watched over the affairs of her household. She wisely and faithfully instructed the spies about how to hide and escape. She
also negotiated a plan that saved her life and the lives of those in her house (He 11:31).
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all (v. 29). Like Pr 31 woman, these women were also called blessed. Most blessed among women is Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite. May she be blessed above all women who live in tents (Ju 5:24). Mary – Thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women (Lu 1:28).
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life (v. 12). Because of Zipporah’s proactivity as it relates to circumcising their son, God’s anger against Moses was calmed and his life was spared (Ex 4:14-20).
None of these women were superwoman, but each was super and virtuous in her own way. Instead of looking at all the ways we might not measure up to the Pr 31, may we consider the traits that we have in common with her like the women mentioned above in Jesus’ precious name. Amen.
Some Christian women feel scared and/or shamed when reading Pr 31 because they have been taught and socialized to believe that being virtuous is woman’s work. However, many of the core characteristics and duties listed in Pr 31 are mutual, collective and congregational. In other words, many of the characteristics and duties listed in Pr 31 are for men too – not just women.
Mutual Traits/Duties Listed in Pr 31:
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies (v.10).
The phrase translated as “virtuous woman” or “woman of noble character” means Eshet CHAYIL in Hebrew. CHAYIL (Strong’s 2428) means strength, the strength of a warrior. The word CHAYIL is also used to describe mighty men of valor in the Bible: Josh 1:14, 6:2; Judg 6:12; 2 Kgs 15:20. Therefore, the Hebrew word (CHAYIL) translated noble and/or virtuous in Pr 31:10 is not a distinctly feminine description. Men can be noble and virtuous (CHAYIL) too.
Do Good
She will do him good … (v.12). As believers, men and women are admonished to “do good” to our enemies (Lu 6:27, 35). Christian men and women are admonished to “do good” and to share with others (He 13:16).
Do No Harm
She brings him good, not harm … (v.12). Husbands are instructed to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:25). Romans 13:10 tells us that “love does no harm.” Therefore, if a husband loves his wife, he will not harm her.
Work With Your Hands
She … works with eager hands (v.13). Christian men and women are called to live a quiet lives, mind our business and “work with our hands” … (1 Th 4:11).
Don’t Be Idle
She … does not eat the bread of idleness (v.27). Paul proclaimed the value of hard work and sternly warned men and women not to be idle (2 Th 3:6-12). “And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Th 5:14).
Speak With Wisdom
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (v.26). “The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just” (Ps 37:30).
Care for the Poor
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy (v.20). Christian men and women are admonished to care for the poor and needy (Ma 25:34-40).
Fear the Lord
… a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (v. 30). “Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments!” (Ps 112:1)
What’s the point? In a Christian home, the wife shouldn’t be the only one concerned about “measuring up” to Pr 31. Christian husbands should also possess many of the core characteristics and fulfill some of the core responsibilities listed in Pr 31: being virtuous and noble (CHAYIL), doing their spouses good and not harm, working with their hands, not being idle, speaking wisdom, caring for the poor and fearing the Lord.
When we (the church) acknowledge that many of the core traits and duties listed in Pr 31 are mutual, collective and congregational. Husbands can help wives be accountable; wives can help husbands be accountable, and the pressure wouldn’t rest all on one person’s (the wife’s) shoulders.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels (v. 10). Excellent, noble, virtuous wives are hard to find. Likewise, faithful, trustworthy men are also hard to find. Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?(Pr 20:6)
I love your reminder that being a Proverbs 31 woman is not a one-size fits all thing that looks the same from the outside! It really is about trying to be the unique woman that God wants me to be. Thanks for sharing!