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I longed to become closer to God. I wanted it more then anything in the world. I was reading my Bible daily sometimes 4 and 5 times a day. I buried myself with acts of service thinking that at some point this wedge between God and I would be out of the way. Until then I was determined I was going to work it out of the way.
Finally one night I had a break through. It wasn’t that God didn’t want to use me it was that I hadn’t given Him my whole heart. I had been holding onto my past unwilling to let it go. People had hurt me and as an unwritten rule I had decided that simply cutting them out of my life was more then enough. Sadly this allowed bitterness to reside into my heart. That bitterness, without even realizing, was seeping out into everything that I did. It caused me to become guarded without even realizing it because deep down I was certain others could not hurt me that way. Due to that I was getting nowhere because I was making myself unusable.
Simon had the same problem. He longed to have the Holy Spirit and to be able to pass it along to others. Yet he to was harboring bitterness in his heart. That bitterness was causing him to be unable to receive the direction he needed. Sadly he thought he could buy the answer, sort of like I thought I could work myself to an answer.
You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity.” Acts 8:21-23
Funny how that works though. God’s requirement is for us to be willing to forgive. Just as He forgives us. He longs for us to trust Him. He doesn’t promise that we will never be hurt again. However – He knows that no matter what He can make us whole. Through Him we are whole.
As I continued my own personal journey I was able to forgive those who had hurt me in the past. I was able to start letting people into my heart again. Ultimately as I began allowing people in, God also came right into those void places that had been placed there by my past.
You see we can do all the right things, we can desire to be the best we can be but until we are willing to explore our hearts we are not going to be usable to God’s ministry. He uses our low moments to reach others, He takes those moments of hurt and turns them into a testimony that glorifies Him. That is what He wants for each of us. He wants us to accept His gift of forgiveness and in turn He wants us to forgive as well.
Simon was able to see the bigger picture………….
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I have sharing my complete thoughts on Periscope. Below is the video on Acts Chapter 8 (yes I know it says Chapter 7 I was having a mommy brain moment).
I am blogging through the Bible with some great friends. Each week we share our thoughts on passages that we are reading together through the week. It is amazing to me just how God is laying different things on each of our hearts. You do not have to be a blogger to join in. In fact the main goal of Good Morning Girls is to encourage women of God to dedicate a little of their time each morning to seeking wisdom from God’s Word. To join us simply click on the image below and it will take you directly to Good Morning Girls where you will find our reading plan, free study materials and wonderful words of inspiration.
Also don’t forget to check out my besties who also happen to be on the Good Morning Girls leadership team.
Courtney from Women Living Well
Mandy from Worshipful Living
Rosilind from A Little R&R
Misty from Beautiful Ashes
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?