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“Don’t you realize you have been brainwashed to believe submission is right? I mean you’re a slave to your family and you have allowed it to be that way. Even worse you are teaching your daughter that it is ok!!”
This is one of the many wonderful emails I have received since starting this site and trying to spread Biblical truth about marriage in a world where divorce is at one of it’s up most highs. I sat there for a while with my cup of coffee just staring at the message. Anger was my first reaction. So I chose to instead of responding back to the email at that instants to just pray and clean. Yes, cleaning helps me clear my head and calms me down pretty quick. I replayed the message in my head all day. Finally, my little children woke up (the oldest was already gone for the day). Instantly I smiled when I looked at my daughter. Slave, I am not. Nor am I teaching my daughter to be treated as one either.
You see I have said over and over again on this site, in videos and on other sites I have not always been a submissive wife. As a matter of fact me being submissive was something my husband wanted no part of. When we first got married he liked when I called all the shots. He liked it when I handled all the money and he even liked it when I worked. Let me take that back he loved it when I worked. However long around the time, I started being submissive I started small. I asked his opinion on things. Then I turned the tables and started asking him to make the final call. Slowly but surely he kind of just fell into the role he was always meant to have without even realizing it. It was a wonderful thing to watch. Not just because no longer was all the strain of day to day life on me but my husband and I were actually starting to communicate with each other like a normal, functioning married couple.
At that time I still worked outside the home and I truly have nothing against women who do work outside the home. In today’s economy, it takes two incomes. While I was working outside the home my husband and I shared household responsibilities. There where times that my husband was in between jobs and he would pick up all the household responsibilities. I, however, didn’t mind being the provider financially in those times because as his wife I am his Help Meet. Meaning that I am here to help and assist him any way I can. Our marriage grew stronger than ever. This is when I believe we both realized we were on to something. It is also why I refuse to go back to the way life once was.
Since I now stay home (after totally squeezing out any and all extras in our lives) I do not feel it is my husband’s place to come home from a long shift and then help me with housework. Not because my husband wouldn’t help because there are days he still comes home and starts looking over things on my ever growing to do list and starts knocking things out for me. However, he does those things because he loves and appreciates me. We are a team. Over the years we have grown to that point of understanding that we are not on different teams. In fact, we are on the same team. We are team Childress. When one of us succeeds both of us succeeds. When one of us is hurting both of us are hurting. This does not sound like a relationship where one of us is a slave.
Yes, I am teaching my daughter the importance of being submissive to her future husband through my actions. I will also continue to do so. I want her and my 3 boys to know what a Biblical marriage looks like. I want them to see this from both sides. My children see the give and take that my marriage has in it. They see the love my husband and I share. The way we act now as wives sets the bar for how our future daughter in laws are going to be. The way our daughters allow themselves to be treated will be set by her watching my husband care for me. This is a good thing. No make that a great thing.
Being submissive does not mean that you’re a slave. Instead, it means that you are growing and nurturing your marriage. You are showing your children the beauty of submission. More importantly, you are doing what is Biblical correct and that is pleasing to God.
Until next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?